“And it’s not just the fruit and the veg, it’s also the essentials, because tariffs could raise the price of tequila. Well, now what are Americans supposed to drink if they want to end an evening in jail?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Oh, and I read that the tariffs against Mexico could cause tequila prices to skyrocket. In response, George Clooney said, ‘That’s not good. I have my own tequila brand, and it’s made in Mexico.’ Then Nick Jonas and Mark Wahlberg said, ‘Same here. This is really gonna affect our tequila brands as well.’ Then Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Guy Fieri, Matthew McConaughey, Adam Levine, George Strait, LeBron James, Kendall Jenner, Rita Ora, Michael Jordan, Blake Lively, Eva Longoria, AC/DC, and the Chainsmokers said, ‘Ditto.’ And finally, Diddy said, ‘This explains why no one’s buying my tequila.’” — JIMMY FALLON
Lin-Manuel Miranda challenged the idiom “Never meet your heroes” on Monday’s “Late Show.”