I have been embarrassed by many things in my life: the time I tripped and fell off a bus drunk in front of a group of teenage boys, cracked a joke at a dinner party that nobody laughed at, and reintroduced myself to someone at the pub whom I had met several times. All of these events still have the capacity to burn my cheeks scarlet as I attempt to sleep at night.
However, one thing that has never troubled me, though, is the fact that I’m 29 years old and still rent a property with two of my friends in London. This, apparently, makes me the minority as, according to new research from Nationwide, 29 is the exact age renters begin to feel red-cheeked about house-sharing, despite 11 per cent of Brits still doing so.
It’s news to precisely no one that living alone is scarily unaffordable right now, with two-thirds of Brits (69 per cent) surveyed in the latest research acknowledging that living alone is unaffordable. Campaigners have long warned that Gen Z are being “locked out” of home ownership, with first-time buyers now potentially paying up to six times more for a home than their parents, while the average salary has barely doubled.
Simultaneously, rent prices have soared, with average rates up 31 per cent from £1,025 to £1,343 in the past five years alone, according to the UK-wide private renters index. Meanwhile, the average rate in London sits at a whopping £2,252, the Office for National Statistics (ONS) has found. Very few young people can cover that cost by themselves.
Predictably – as we scramble to save – the number of grown adults still living with their parents is also going up and up. Last January, research by the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) found that the proportion of 25- to 34-year-olds seeking shelter at the hotel of mum and dad in the UK had risen by more than a third (18 per cent) in just under two decades.
All this is to say that, when I pay my rent, I actually feel quite proud. My salary is below the average wage in London and I have an ever-increasing undergraduate and postgraduate student loan to pay – but I still always pay my bills, save, invest, eat healthily, show up for my friends, and enjoy the city through careful money management and selling my clothes when needed on second-hand sites like Vinted for extra cash. I am independent.
In the current economic climate, spinning all these financial plates without toppling into debt is more impressive to me than asking for family handouts, settling for a better paid corporate career in order to scrape together enough for a one bed in the suburbs, or moving in with my boyfriend prematurely to hit some imaginary adulthood milestone.
In fact, Nationwide also found that over one in 10 Brits have formed so-called “rally households” with family or ex-partners to cut costs, which actually push the shared living age up to 35. Just under half of those (46 per cent) said these makeshift setups negatively affected their relationships and personal lives, with many experiencing stress and anxiety despite achieving their saving goals.
While there can be tension in friendship houseshares, too, I am very happy with my current living situation. We divide chores evenly, stay up late talking, but simultaneously know when to give each other breathing space or respect an early bed time. The area we live in is far nicer than anything I could afford if I were looking to buy and, right now, while I’m not desperate to have children or get married, the setup is simultaneously social, spacious – and one I really enjoy.
To leave my housemates and move somewhere by myself, purely to feel flashier or more age-appropriate, would only allow me to fall into the same trap as soap star Joey Tribbiani in Friends, who ditches his best friend Chandler Bing for a bachelor pad in season two, only to go crawling back, lonely and penniless just one episode later. Chandler, notably, can more than afford to live alone, but chooses to stay simply because being with his roommate is comforting – and more fun.
I admit that I’m not where I thought I’d be at 29 – but neither is the state of the world. While I would love to own my own home and, maybe, even have a family one day, that time is not now.
As the cost of living is steadily rising, so is the age we’re getting married, starting to have kids, retiring and house sharing until. In fact, the number of flat sharers aged 65-plus has tripled in the last decade, according to figures from the flatshare site SpareRoom. So, any embarrassment felt about hitting certain tickbox milestones further down the line seemingly stems from an antiquated version of what our lives should look like.
The houseshare reality we face is markedly different but, often, just as enjoyable – if we can shake off our self-judgement over communal living.