A Dublin widow whose husband died just three days after their wedding has said she believes he “held on” to marry her before “going up to the angels”.
Dean Dunphy, 33, was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer, glioblastoma, in August 2023 after experiencing stroke-like symptoms and muscle twitching – a condition doctors described as “an old man’s disease”.
His wife, Michaela Dunphy, 31, said Dean underwent two brain surgeries to remove cancerous tissue, as well as chemotherapy and radiotherapy, but the tumour kept growing.
With an uncertain prognosis, the couple decided to marry on May 18 this year at Michaela’s mother’s house. They secured a Court Exemption Order, allowing them to proceed without the usual three-month notification to the registrar.
However, on their wedding night, Dean experienced a seizure and was rushed to hospital, where doctors told Michaela it would be best to introduce end-of-life palliative care, adding: “If Dean makes the next couple of days, it’ll be a miracle.”
After family and friends said their goodbyes in his final hours, Michaela said she lay on Dean’s chest and listened until his heart stopped beating at 4.35am on May 21.
Michaela said navigating grief and becoming a single parent to their daughter, Sloane, four, has been incredibly hard, but she is now on a mission to raise awareness and launch a foundation in Dean’s name to fund more research into brain cancer treatments.
Speaking about the moments before Dean died, Michaela said: “I just said (to Sloane): ‘Look, Daddy is going to go up to the angels very soon’.
“She said, ‘does this mean I don’t have a daddy anymore?’ And I said, ‘no, you do have a daddy, he’s just not going to live with us anymore’.
“She had a cry, we had a cry, and she’s been looking after me ever since. She’s been so strong.
“Even now, people say to me, ‘Michaela, he held on to make you his wife’.”
Dean had suffered migraines and headaches since he was a child, but doctors said this was common.
However, in June 2023, he started experiencing sudden muscle twitching while driving on a motorway.
“Thank God he managed to pull over, because he said he was basically experiencing the symptoms of a stroke,” Michaela said.
Doctors suspected Dean might have Bell’s palsy, which causes paralysis or weakness on one side of the face, but blood tests, scans and examinations confirmed this was not the case.
Weeks later, Michaela received a call from the hospital to say “they had found something on his brain”.
“We got called back in on July 24 and they said: ‘We can see what looks like a brain tumour’,” she explained.
“They said they needed to operate to investigate further.”
Dean underwent open brain surgery on August 24 – Michaela’s 30th birthday – and the seven-hour procedure went well, with surgeons able to remove the tissue for further testing.
However, a week on, doctors called to say “it’s not good news” and revealed Dean had stage 4 brain cancer, glioblastoma.
“They basically said, ‘It’s a type of brain cancer’, and as soon as we heard the word cancer, it was like white noise – I was in shock,” Michaela said.
Two weeks later, Dean had a second surgery to remove the other active cancerous tissue around his brain and started chemotherapy and radiotherapy, followed by a “blocker treatment” to prevent the tumour from growing bigger.
During this time, while Dean’s speech started to slur and he lost his mobility, the couple became engaged and decided to marry as soon as they could.
“I wanted to marry him from the minute I met him,” Michaela said.
“I was like, ‘Just get me that ring!’”
The couple had originally planned to have their wedding at Opium in Dublin, but with Dean experiencing “scary” seizures, they opted to marry at the home of Michaela’s mother.
Two days before the wedding, they received a phone call “completely out of the blue”, with doctors saying they would like to do more surgery – an operation that was originally deemed not possible.
“It felt like a blessing in disguise, and I said to the doctors: ‘We’re getting married on Sunday, so this is the best wedding gift ever’.”
After signing the necessary legal forms at the local civic centre, Dean and Michaela had their “amazing” wedding ceremony on May 18 with their friends and family in the back garden of Michaela’s mother’s home.
Main symptoms of a malignant brain tumour (brain cancer)
NHS
The symptoms of a malignant brain tumour (brain cancer) can vary.
Common symptoms may include:
- new headaches, or headaches that are getting worse – these usually happen with other symptoms
- feeling sick (nausea) or being sick (vomiting) when moving suddenly – this usually happens with other symptoms
- fits (seizures)
- eye problems that are getting worse, such as blurred vision, seeing dots and lines or flashes of light, or not being able to see out of the corners of your eyes
- being very sleepy or fainting (losing consciousness)
- changes to behaviour or personality, such as problems with thinking and concentration
A local cafe provided food, and their favourite songs were played, including Ordinary by Alex Warren.
“We’re so thankful that we got to do it, and we got to do it our way,” Michaela said.
“It was amazing; it couldn’t have gone any better.”
The night of the wedding, Dean started having more seizures and was taken to hospital where Michaela was told the extra surgery was no longer possible and her new husband may only have a matter of days left to live.
Daughter Sloane was among the family and friends who came to say goodbye in hospital as plans were made for Dean to return home, where he wished to die.
Michaela invited their priest to the hospital, and Dean was blessed and read the Last Rites before his death in the early hours of May 21.
“I was lying on Dean… and I was waiting to hear his heart stop,” she said.
“I just needed to be the one to hear his heart stop; that was my closure.”
Dean’s funeral was held on May 24.
As part of her focus on raising awareness and funds for more research into brain cancer treatments, Michaela has begun sharing their story on TikTok, under the handle @michaela.dunphy.
She said she had promised Dean before he died that she would help others, and she “won’t stop” until she too is “on (her) deathbed”.
“I promised him, I said, ‘I’m not going to stop, I’m going to continue on, it’s going to help me’,” Michaela said.
“I want to have a foundation in Dean’s name… and for Sloane to look back and say: ‘That’s my dad’.”