As a natural part of development, teens push away from their parents and drift apart in order to establish their independence as they develop their identities. Although this is normal, if your teen is pushing further away than what feels comfortable, this may be a red flag that you and your child are truly disconnected.
Jeffrey Meltzer, a therapist from Therapy To The Point, acknowledged, in a TikTok video, that this disconnection is normal. However, if teens are “chronically” in their rooms or “barely interacting with family,” those are signals that they “don’t feel safe or seen in family interactions” and parents need to address it immediately.
Meltzer said that other red flags that may indicate your teen is becoming disconnected include::
- They don’t come to you when something is wrong.
- They constantly argue with you.
- They can’t wait to move out.
- They stop explaining themselves.
Just what are parents supposed to do to bridge the gap? Experts offer several suggestions for rebuilding that connection.
Meltzer advised in an interview with Huffington Post UK that parents need to get “back to basics” when trying to reconnect with their teens. Parents need to do this in ways that “don’t involve expectations.”
“Not every interaction needs to be productive. Create moments of presence, not pressure,” he said. Meltzer suggested that a weekly board game night can help bring families together.
Amanda MacDonald, a therapist and BACP member, previously told Huffington Post that parents need to have regular check-ins with their teens to know what is going on in their world. Parents can incorporate these check-ins into gaming together, shopping, cooking, driving, exercising, etc.
Parents also need to make sure they do not use this “check-in” time for judgments or lectures, as that can potentially damage what they are trying to build.