Getting kids to listen without raising your voice can be a challenge for many parents. A few small changes in how you communicate can make a difference.
As outlined in the parenting book “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, here are five tips to try.
Give Instructions With a Single Word
“They’ll tune you out when you go on and on,” Faber told Parents author, Vicki Glembocki. “Instead, try just one word to jog their memory.”
If you keep repeating something like “wash the dishes” after dinner and your child ignores it, try saying just “dishes.” It can grab their attention and remind them what needs to be done. It may take time, but it can work with consistency.
Empower Your Child
Children want to understand why something matters. Instead of giving commands, explain the reason behind what you are asking. This can make them more willing to cooperate.
Mother and daughter. Photo Credit: Freepik.com
Give Your Child a Choice
Offer choices instead of threats or promises.
“Threats and punishment don’t work,” Faber explains. “Rather than feeling sorry for not cooperating, a child tends to become even more stubborn.”
Giving children options can help them feel included and more open to doing what is asked.
State Your Expectations
Be clear about expectations from the start. This helps avoid confusion and makes it easier for children to follow through.
Name Their Feelings
“Everyone wants to know they’ve been heard and understood,” Faber says. “You need to give them the words to express it.”
When children are not able to express their feelings, they may act out instead. Helping them name those feelings can support better communication.