An “active” 45-year-old IT specialist has died from a rare cancer usually seen in adolescents after a “golf ball-sized” lump appeared on his shoulder in 2022.
Gabor Kabacs – who enjoyed trips away, long hikes and swimming – was visiting his family in Hungary when his mother noticed a “small bump” coming out of his shoulder blade.
He went to a local doctor who advised he seek further treatment on his return home to the UK and after undergoing tests and having a biopsy on the lump upon his return, he was diagnosed with a form of primary bone cancer, Ewing sarcoma, in March 2022.
Just 90 people are diagnosed with Ewing sarcoma per year in the UK and nearly 80 per cent are aged 20 or under, according to the Bone Cancer Research Trust.
His partner of 12 years, Oliver Kirkham, 44, from Basingstoke, Hampshire, said the diagnosis came as a “complete shock” to the couple.
After surgery to remove the cancer from his shoulder and right arm, which had grown to the size of a “golf ball”, a year later it was discovered it had spread to bones throughout his body, leaving them soft and brittle.
Gabor was given six months to live and placed in palliative care in December 2023.
He died on May 2, 2024.
Oliver now hopes to raise awareness of Ewing sarcoma and to urge others in his position to take care of their mental wellbeing.
“Your plans for life going forward just get completely smashed up,” Oliver, an onboard cabin crew manager for Qantas Airlines, said.
“Buying a property together, big trips away to travel, all of that just completely comes to a halt, an end.
“You put yourself second to cancer but you are just as important as the patient.
“If you’re not coping then you’re going to be no use to the person who does have cancer.”
Oliver and Gabor met in February 2012 through an online dating app and started living together in Winchester two years later, before relocating to Basingstoke.
“Gabor was really active – we did loads of travelling together, lots of outdoor stuff and lots of hikes as well,” Oliver said.
In January 2022, Gabor paid a visit to see his loved ones in Hungary which is when his mother noticed the lump.
“His mum had noticed a small bump, almost like a little ball coming out from the back of his shoulder blade and the pain was quite severe,” Oliver said.
Gabor went to Basingstoke Hospital on his return to the UK, where he was given a sling to support his arm, and a biopsy and further scans were organised.
“The whole time we thought it was a sports injury, together with a cyst which may need draining,” Oliver said.
“The pain had started to subside but the ball in his shoulder kept growing, so much so it became almost like the size of a golf ball that protruded from the back of his shirt.”
In March 2022, Gabor’s biopsy results were returned, which confirmed the presence of Ewing sarcoma, a form of primary bone cancer, in his left shoulder, and metastasis – the spread of cancer cells – in his right arm.
“It was a complete shock, he was told right from the start how rare it is for an adult,” Oliver said.
“You feel quite helpless really, to be hit with that.
“We were quite angry at the start, thinking ‘why has this happened to us?’ or for Gabor, ‘why has this happened to me?’
“Our doctor was really helpful though in explaining it was not something Gabor had done, it was just his genetics.”
Gabor was referred to the Nuffield Orthopaedic Hospital in Oxford, where he started four months of chemotherapy treatment in April 2022.
Signs and symptoms of bone cancer
NHS
The main symptoms include:
- persistent bone pain that gets worse over time and continues into the night
- swelling and redness (inflammation) over a bone, which can make movement difficult if the affected bone is near a joint
- a noticeable lump over a bone
- a weak bone that breaks (fractures) more easily than normal
- problems moving around – for example, walking with a limp
He also had an operation in September 2022 to remove the lumps from his left shoulder blade and right arm.
“Gabor was so brave, he was so fascinated and amazed at what they were doing,” Oliver said.
“The operation gave him a lot of hope, he wanted to keep going and get his life back together.”
In November 2022 Gabor started radiotherapy treatment and three months later in February 2023, his arm and shoulder were deemed to be cancer-free.
“His chances to survive were still very low but having a clear result really lifted his spirits,” Oliver said.
However, another test in May 2023, found the cancer had spread to his ribs and later his left hip, left humerus, right femur and his jaw.
Gabor started a new chemotherapy treatment plan but his doctors found it was “having no effect”.
In November 2023, Oliver said the cancer began “attacking” Gabor’s bones.
“His bones became very soft, he had a left hip replacement and rods put into both of his femurs to strengthen his legs,” he said.
Gabor’s medical team told the couple in December 2023 there was no further treatment they could offer.
He was given six months to live and put in to palliative care at St Michael’s Hospice in Basingstoke, where he died on May 2, 2024.
“I look back at everything that went on in those two years and you don’t really realise the trauma you are put through while still trying to keep real life going,” Oliver said.
“We were so fortunate to have the NHS and the hospice.
“Looking back at what we faced as a young couple, I then think about how this is just ripping families apart.”
Oliver said “early detection” is vital and he urged others to “lean on” organisations and charities for support to avoid feeling “isolated”.
Having been Gabor’s carer, Oliver hopes those in similar positions look after their mental health.
“It’s about understanding how to manage your responsibility as a carer but also finding what recharges your batteries,” he said.
“Your life is going to change and it will change forever – that’s not something we want to face up to, but we have to.”